Lessons After my First Relationship

Let’s be honest, no one likes heartbreak. It takes a really crazy person to want to go through that kind of hell. Heartbreaks SUCK. Though, life has different plans. Everyone goes through it in one way or another.

Life, however, is a teacher. I always compared life to my 4th Year teacher back in High School. She was a tough person who’d make us go through hell. You’d know though that she knew how to teach because she taught us more than just math. She thought us valuable lessons like respect and discipline. What was noteworthy was that she didn’t make it easy. She’d yell at us and scold us more than we could count. We knew though that she loved us and only wanted the best for us. She best exemplified life.

So, heartbreak can teach everyone about something. It definitely taught me a lot at the expense of so much hurt. Here are a few things you can take from your first one.

1. It’s okay to cry.

Yeah it’s okay guys. It’s okay for us to get in touch with our emotional side. Physical pain isn’t the most painful thing anyone can experience. Emotional pain hurts just as bad, if not worse than physical pain. It’s an inevitable part of life. It’s okay to cry and be angry. It’s only natural to feel bad after someone who promised to never leave you ripped apart your heart. But when you’re done crying, you realize that…

2. It’s not about him/her.

It’s about us. Breaking up exposes a lot of our insecurities. If you realize that you did nothing wrong, then you should at least realize that you depended too much on the promise of your ex. You depended too much on the promise of the wrong person and you fully trusted yourself to her. Instead of being a whole person, you became half of what you were and decided that s/he was your other half instead of another whole. You decided 1/2 + 1/2 = 1 was better than 1 + 1 = 2. That is why we need to work on becoming better. We have to rebuild the other half of us without him/her.

3. What you’ll lose in heart, you’ll gain in spirit.

Now, your heart may be broken but that’s only the start of things. That’s the sign that your spirit will become stronger. You’re going through one of the most excruciating parts of life. You are one brave person.

You may have lost the love of your life but you have been made aware of the companion that has been with you since time immemorial: yourself. That’s right. Before you can love anyone, you have to learn to love yourself. Spirit over heart.

4. There is life outside love.

I reconnected with so many of my friends after the relationship. I missed a lot of things while I was in a relationship. I missed so much of their lives that I almost felt bad that I devoted my whole time to a relationship that wasn’t working. These are one of the things you learn the hard way. There’s so much more in life than just love. There’s so much more things to do after it. You’ll want to maybe try out new things. Try to discover more sides of yourself and other people. You’ll realize that living is a bigger domain than loving. After all, the letter “i” comes first before “o” in the alphabet.

5. You’ll be better the next time.

This may not be the last time you will fall in love. Your heart will eventually repair and then you might try again. The only difference is you’ll be more experienced this time. You’ll be one whole person looking for another whole person to become even better. Who knows, you may just do that. After all…

6. You’ve come a long a way

…and you deserve a pat in the back.


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